So little is known about a woman's sexual pleasure that it seems unbelievable; a woman's body is unknown territory, even for those who inhabit it. Vaginas and vulvas? Clitoris and g spot? Female ejaculation and orgasms? Climax? When we talk about female sexual education, there are big questions that have been caused by the beliefs of sin and impurity that surround the recognition of women's bodies.

It is time to talk about women's bodies without fear of social punishment, eliminating shame and guilt from bodies, letting go of those social meanings that have enslaved and sickened our species.

Therefore, on this occasion we will talk about the information that Dr. Jen Gunter tells us in chapter 4 of “the vagina bible.” We will be talking about that knowledge that will allow you as a woman not only to know your body, but also to become the owner of your pleasure and health.

Shame on female sexual education?

The first topic that Dr. Jen Gunter addresses in her chapter “Female Pleasure and Sexual Education” is the great lack of knowledge that general society has about sexuality. She believes that this sexual blindness is the product of a stereotypical perspective of social reality, defining female sexuality as dirty, allowing shame to reach the doctor's consultation. Some doctors, including obstetrician-gynecologists, feel uncomfortable talking about sex with women because they have not received enough, or any, preparation for this type of conversation, causing the conditions that arise during sexual relations to end up being minimized. Many women suffer for years without knowing that they have a diagnosable and treatable problem.

In this way, women's sexual dissatisfaction becomes a normality that has been ignored until modernity. Perhaps from this dissatisfaction the need to romanticize sexual relations and prioritize the couple's desire was born, converting the other's satisfaction into one's own satisfaction. But that's not true, your partner's orgasm is not yours.

So how to achieve satisfying sex?

sex game

To do this we must talk about how it works, the female sexual organ, the vagina. In this organ, when talking about pleasure, there is a rock star, The clitoris. Physically, from the perspective of pure and simple stimulation, the clitoris is the most important anatomical structure of female sexuality. That doesn't mean there aren't women capable of achieving orgasm through nipple or anal stimulation; It only implies that the clitoris has evolved for sexual pleasure and there is almost always a clitoral response when other erogenous zones are activated. It is curious to note that the area of ​​the brain involved in the reaction to nipple stimulation overlaps with the area that interprets clitoral sensations.

Now, what happens when there is sexual excitement?

Increased blood supply to the vagina and vulva causes enlargement of the clitoris, swelling of the vulva, and vaginal transudation (wetness or lubrication). The lower third of the vagina tends to tighten and the upper two thirds may dilate. The upper part of the vagina and uterus are slightly elevated.

Orgasm is the rhythmic contraction of the muscles that surround the vagina (the pelvic floor muscles). These contractions are reflex type, which means that the nerves and muscles coordinate the action without the conscious intervention of your brain. Voluntarily contracting the pelvic floor muscles (Kegel exercises) does not trigger orgasm, although many women report that voluntary constriction of these muscles can increase arousal.

The female orgasm —the contractions of the pelvic floor muscles—usually lasts 5 to 60 seconds. These contractions occur at intervals of approximately 0.8 seconds (one after the other), and in many cases they become increasingly longer, but weaker. An orgasm usually produces between 3 and 15. The climax appears accompanied by a feeling of well-being and/or release of tension. What's fascinating is that men and women describe the sensation of orgasm in almost identical terms.

For some women, the glans of the clitoris is too sensitive to withstand direct contact during foreplay or sexual intercourse , as it houses the maximum density of nerves. Those who cannot tolerate a vibrator or direct manual stimulation of the glans may prefer the tongue. You may also be able to resist friction better if you place a piece of thin cloth between the vibrator or fingers and the clitoris. Fortunately, because the clitoris branches around the urethra, extends into the vagina, and is located under the labia, it can be stimulated in many creative ways without having to directly touch the glans. For example, a vibrator with a wider surface can be pressed against the vaginal opening to stimulate the pillars. It's fun to observe the size and location of the clitoris and think of different ways to activate it.

clitoris, positive sexuality

With all of the above, it is stated that the ideal duration of heterosexual intercourse, according to research carried out by American and Canadian sexologists, would be 3 to 7 minutes (between 1 and 2 minutes is considered too short and more than 10, excessively long). .)

According to another study, heterosexual couples report an average of 11-13 minutes of foreplay and 7-8 minutes of intercourse. In general, men estimate the duration of foreplay and penetration longer than women. Both say they want more foreplay and longer intercourse.

And the famous g spot?

The idea of ​​the G spot, identified by Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg in 1950, established the myth of the vaginal orgasm. According to what they say, it is a magical point located on the vaginal wall (below the bladder) whose stimulation excites women.

Dr. Jen in her research discovered that Dr. Gräfenberg's original article does not make a specific point. The text is actually titled "The Role of the Urethra in the Female Orgasm" and describes an "erogenous zone" in the front area of ​​the vagina, close to the urethra and the lower portion of the bladder.

There is a high probability that he was describing the body, root and bulbs of the clitoris as they surround the urethra . As expected, the abundant studies carried out have not found any macroscopic structure outside the urethra, clitoris and vaginal wall in the so-called "G spot." The lower area of ​​the vagina, close to the urethra, is a source of pleasure for many women because it offers access to the clitoris, but requires adequate stimulation; It is not a direct path to orgasm.

Anatomical observations made with the MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) technique reveal that the penis tends to press on the clitoris during sexual intercourse , which explains why some women achieve orgasm only with penetration. He used ultrasound to observe the clitoris during external masturbation and during vaginal penetration he indicated that both caused its engorgement. This means that external rubbing of the vulva or internal vestibule using a penis, fingers, tongue or some toy produces identical results: stimulation of the clitoris . Even the manipulation of the nipples, a caress that many women consider erotic, activates an area of ​​the brain that overlaps with the area that interprets the sensations coming from the clitoris. The function of this organ is none other than to add and amplify pleasure. All paths of enjoyment lead to the clitoris.

We still have a lot to discuss about female sexuality; However, we take the first step and turn to a professional in the area to avoid the increase in ignorance and misinformation. We invite you to read the chapter and tell us what you think of this new information. You will surely be as impressed as I am about how little we know about our pleasure.

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